Confident me
Here’s a extract from my journal from March/April 2018. I wasn’t always as positive and confident as the words written on those pages.
Some days I would wake up and the waves of anxiety would literally consume me. I would feel panicked and nervous. Then I would feel guilty for not loving every second and that would make me feel worse.
What did I learn?
You know what I’ve learnt now. It is ok not to love every single second. Feeling nervous is natural, as human beings we fear the unknown or the unfamiliar.
Giving myself time for me was key. I would listen to positive affirmations and scripts every night without fail. If I was having a day where anxiety seemed to consume me a little more, I would lay down on the bed and I would allow myself that time. Reframing my mindset helped me to cope with those feelings.
How Hypnobirthing helped
Once I turned 13 weeks I started an online hypnobirthing course. By my own admission I am a control freak and having something proactive to do and learning about birth and my body really helped.
Those days of anxiety became less and instead of feeling the weight of bringing a high-risk IVF baby into the world, I was excited. I looked forward to it. After 5 years of fertility treatment, ivf and doctors appointments I had confidence in myself. I was going to birth my daughter and it was going to be amazing. If that meant another c-section I was at peace with that, but my starting point was a water birth and that felt good.
Positive mindset
As I listening to my relaxations and affirmations, I would picture my baby and her birth and I would imagine the feel of the water and sensation of surges. I would imagine myself breathing and feeling empowered. My husband supporting me. I would imagine the midwives quietly in the corner and finally I would imagine Fin, the proud big brother holding his brand-new sister, my husband protective arm around them both and I would feel proud of what I had achieved.
Apologies if this sounds a little deep but our mind is our greatest asset, our most powerful tool, learning understand my mind has literally changed my life in so many ways. And at the risk of sounding like the Christmas puppy advert. Hypnobirthing is for life, not just for birth.
